Books read in 2012

1. The Bible
2. Hunger Games, by Suzanne Collins
3. Catching Fire, by Suzanne Collins
4. Mocking Jay, by Suzanne Collins
5. Twilight, by Stephanie Meyer
6. Eclipse, by Stephanie Meyer
7. New Moon, by Stephanie Meyer
8. Breaking Dawn, by Stephanie Meyer 
9. Zero Day, by Mark Russinovich 
10. Pandora's Grave, by Stephen England 
11. Heat Wave, by Richard Castle 
12. Naked Heat, by Richard Castle
13. Heat Rises, by Richard Castle 
14. No Turning Back, by Tiffany Snow 
15. If You Can't Stand The Heat, by Robin Allen
16. Handgun Stopping Power: The Definitive Study, by Evan Marshall and Edwin J. Sanow 
17. Chill Run, by Russell Brooks
18. Cherry On Top, by Kathleen Long
19. The Edge of Trust, by KT Bryan
20. Knox's Irregulars, by J. Wesley Bush 
21. Death of the Couch Potato's Wife, by Christy Barrettt
22. Chili con Corpses, by JB Stanley
23. GOTU, by Mike McNeff
24. In Her Name: First Contact, by Michael Hicks 
25. Inflammatory Diseases of Blood Vessels, 2nd Edition, edited by Hoffman, Weyand, Langford and Goronzy 
26. Strangers in the Land (Zombie Bible book 3), by Stant Litore 
27. Wool Omnibus, by Hugh Howey 
28. Wisdom to Know, by Elizabeth Maddrey
29. Not Guilty, by Teresa Pollard and Candi Pullen
30. Courage to Change, by Elizabeth Maddrey
31. Fiery Secrets, by Stephanie McCall
32. Tokens of Promise, by Teresa Pollard

Do you live in the Panem Capitol?

I read the three "Hunger Games" books this week.  Partly b/c the movie is coming out.  I read the first book a long time ago and disliked it.  But I wanted to be able to tell people WHY I was not going to go see the movie: I don't like the books.  Now that I've read all three, I can still say "I don't like the books".  And I will not be seeing the movie.

But let me ask you a philosophical question...

Premises:
1) The barbarity of having children murder each other in the arena was considered prime entertainment for the citizens living in the dystopian Panem Capitol.
2) The Hunger Games books are quite violent.  The movie is also quite violent.  Violent and bloody and gory enough that the "British censors agreed to give the film a "12A" rating only after some footage was cut."  In America, "The Hunger Games has been rated PG-13 "for intense violent thematic material and disturbing images - all involving teens.""

Intense, violent, disturbing images.

So here's my philosophical question:

If you judge the citizens of the Panem Capitol to be idiots (or whatever word you choose) because they view the Hunger Games as entertainment...

Why the HECK are YOU viewing the intensely violent and disturbing movie as entertainment???

Shouldn't you be applying the same measure of judgment to yourself?  If it's horrible for the fictional characters to find murder entertaining, why are you excited about the film?  You'll be viewing that same murder as a form of entertainment.  So...  what the heck??

Ok, let the flame wars begin, and may the odds be ever in your favor.

2011 Reading List

This is what I read in 2011:

1. Vampire Crush, by A.M. Robinson
2. Mr. Darcy's Diary, by Amanda Grange
3. Building a Parenting Agreement that Works: Child custody agreements step-by-step; by Mimi Lyster
4. Shattered Dreams, by Dr Larry Crabb
5. Stargate SG1: Four Dragons (SG1-16), by Diana Dru Botsford
6. Absolute Risk, by Steven Gore
7. Stargate Atlantis: Hunt and Run, by Aaron Rosenberg
8. Watchlist, by Jeffrey Deaver
9. Night of the Vampires, by Heather Graham
10. The Blood that Bonds, by Christopher Buecheler
11. Against All Odds, by Irene Hannon
12. Deadly Sanctuary, by Sylvia Nobel and Christy Moeller
13. Star Wars: Lost Tribe of the Sith #1-7 (short stories) by John Jackson Miller
14. The Crossroads Cafe, by Deborah Smith
15. Reaper (Novella), by Rachel Vincent
16. Face of Betrayal, by Lis Wiehl and April Henry
17. Stargate Atlantis 16: Homecoming, by Jo Graham and Melissa Scott
18. Troublesome Creek, by Jan Watson
19. Lioness Arising, by Lisa Bevere
20. House of Dark Shadows (Dreamhouse Kings Series, Book 1) by Robert Liparulo
21. Stuck in the Middle, by Virginia Smith
22. Crossing Oceans, by Gina Holmes
23. Invisible, Lorena McCourtney
24. Twilight, by Stephenie Meyer
25. New Moon, by Stephenie Meyer
26. Eclipse, by Stephenie Meyer
27. Breaking Dawn, by Stephenie Meyer
28. Always the Baker, Never the Bride, by Sandra Bricker
29. After the Leaves Fall, by Nicole Baart
30. The Legal Answer Book for Families, by Emily Doskow and Marcia Stewart
31. Alice at Heart, by Deborah Smith
32. Almost Heaven, by Chris Fabry
33. Almost Perfect, by Julie Ortolon
34. The Apothecary's Daughter, by Julie Klassen
35. Antiques Roadkill, by Barbara Allan
36. Stargate SG1 (SG1-17): Sunrise, by J. Frances Crane
37. Where will you go from here? by Valorie Burton
38. Back on Murder, by J. Mark Bertrand
39. Stargate Atlantis (SGA-17): The Lost, by Jo Graham and Amy Griswold
40. The Help, by Kathryn Stockett
41. The Pawn, by Steven James
42. The Rook, by Steven James
43. The Scroll, by Grant Jeffrey and Alton Gansky
44. All the Pretty Hearses: A Bed-and-Breakfast Mystery (Bed-And-Breakfast Mysteries) by Mary Daheim
45. The Knight, by Steven James 
46. The Brotherhood (Precinct 11), by Jerry Jenkins
47. The Big 5-Oh!, by Sandra Bricker
48. Boyfriends, Burritos, and an Ocean of Trouble, by Nancy Rue
49. Beautiful Lies, by Lisa Unger
50. Reamde, by Neal Stephenson
51. The Bishop, by Steven James
52. The Hunt for Red October, by Tom Clancy
53. Tahn, by L.A. Kelly 
54. Getting Smart, by Tom Vander Ark
55. The Promised One: Seeing Jesus in Genesis, by Nancy Guthrie

Review: "The Scroll" by Grant R Jeffrey and Alton L Gansky

"The Scroll" by Grant R Jeffrey and Alton L Gansky

Product description (Text from the back of the book): Dr. David Chambers, leading archaeologist, has spent his professional career uncovering the facts in the artifacts. His work sets the standard for biblical research in the Holy Land. But surrounded by the evidence, David has sunk into an abyss of doubt. A painful experience with a seemingly unresponsive God has left him without hope. The Old Testament scriptures that used to fill his mind with wonder now drive him to frustration. His unanswered questions have ripped him from both his academic pursuits and the love of his life, his fiancée, Amber.
An old friend and mentor reaches out to David, enticing him with the riches described in the enigmatic Copper Scroll. Losing ground with his peers, his love, and his faith, David Chambers has a choice to make. Will he undertake one final dig to unlock a secret that could alter the course of history? Do the mysteries of the Old Testament hold the key to the political turmoil of the Middle East?
In a world where faith has been eclipsed by the allure of doubt, The Scroll offers a different journey: a gripping adventure to find truth worth dying for.

Review:
The marketing text on the back of the book is almost more interesting than the book itself. If I had to summarize the book in one phrase, it would be "Rip-off of Joel Rosenberg's The Copper Scroll (Political Thrillers Series #4)". Except, Joel Rosenberg is a better writer. Mr. Jeffrey and Mr. Gansky have only one character with any depth... the rest are sloppy, shallow caricatures. The plot rushes and halts unevenly, and then at the end uses a jump of several years to allow some meager wrap-up of plot lines. When the plot halts suddenly, it's because some character needs to suddenly give a multi-page monologue/lecture about archeology, history, or the significance of something Biblical. And these lectures are delivered to the most random characters: one to a airplane pilot, one to a security guard, and then (most ridiculous of all) the group of world-renowned experts lecture EACH OTHER. Along the way, the main character does the usual expected stuff: re-finds his faith, finds amazing treasure, and gets the girl. You can even spot the "surprise" double-crossing bad-guy within the first 20 pages. I adore the genre of thriller fiction that is related to end times and to the Ezekiel prophecies, but don't waste your time on this book. Instead, read or re-read the Joel Rosenberg series.

FTC Disclaimer: "I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review."

Book review "Where will you go from here?" by Valorie Burton

"Where will you go from here?" by Valorie Burton has some amazing life-coach tips inside. Her advice also references some generic Christianesque thoughts and a few Bible verses. Each chapter features a true story about someone who overcame a huge obstacle of some sort. All the ingredients are there to make a great book; but it just doesn't seem to come together. The core of her message are five life-coaching phrases:
1) I will not feel sorry for myself
2) I will not stare at the closed door
3) I will dig deep to unearth all the courage I need
4) I will direct my thoughts - my thoughts will not direct me
5) I will choose to believe all things work together for good.

After that, Valorie takes the reader through a thought journey:
1) figure out where you are in life and what exactly the damage is
2) look at your history to figure out how you got here
3) give a name to exactly what you're afraid of
4) look around for resources that will help you recover
5) figure out where to go now (same path? new path? redefine yourself?)
6) plot a course to the new destination
7) take charge of your thoughts
8) figure out how you're growing and share your experience with others

Overall, good life-coaching in a soft-Christian setting.

Review: Lioness Arising, by Lisa Bevere

Bevere hopes to motivate women to do more to "change the world". At one point she says we need to take on actions that are so bold, so grand, that they impress Jesus. Lots of things wrong with that idea.

Bevere aims to show "what it means to: be a stunning representation of strength; fiercely protect the young; lend your voice to the silenced; live in the light and hunt in the dark; and raise a collective roar that changes everything" (dust jacket inside front flap). I think all Christians of both genders could learn each of these lessons, not just women.

Bevere uses the lioness as a metaphor for the focus of this book. While educational at times, and inspirational at times, Bevere mostly just pushes the metaphor too far or completely misinterprets it.

In the first chapter she summarizes her lioness points: "She rises to gather strength. She rises to greet and groom others. She rises to hunt. She rises alongside other lionesses. She rises to move the young to safety. She rises to confront enemies that threaten the pride. She rises to walk with her king."

One example she mentions is a male lion that was tracked with a collar for a few years. The time came to take the collar off because "the collar hindered the fullness of his mane, and it had to come off so that his mane would appear as large as possible. (Lions use the width of each other's manes to visually gauge and determine whether to challenge the other for dominance of an area.)". Funny, Bevere didn't ask us to learn any lessons from this story... oh, wait, we already judge each other based on outside appearance.

In another example, a male and his two females (hmm..Bevere doesn't ask us to learn any lessons about relationships or marriage from the lion pride of one alpha male and a bunch of lionesses!) are being introduced to a new area of the safari park. To lure them into the new area, the park rangers put a freshly killed animal within sight. "Even though these young lions were hungry, they were also cautions. The male lion would not budge from his place of safety" hiding in the bush. The two females eventually go to the carcass "but rather than dive into their feast, they did a curious things. The lionesses grabbed hold of the buck by the neck and a leg, and the two of them dragged the carcass back into the enclosure so the lion could eat his share alongside them." The lesson, Bevere explains, is that we need to "be the type of women who will take the time and make the effort to bring back the goodness we find". Ok, great lesson, but I guarantee that was not the motivation of the lionesses.

Later she continues, "Why did they bring the carcass back for the lion to eat? ... A more convenient option would have been for them to eat their fill, then leave the remains for the lion whenever he decided to come out on his own. Or they could have eaten their fill and then brought him the leftovers. ... If the animal kingdom is based on survival, why were these lionesses so generous? After all, sharing with a hungry lion meant less food for them." The answer? "They instinctively understood that their future and the survival of their children was intimately tied to how they related to the lion. They chose to behave in a manner that would be remembered by the lion in his future season of strength." Um, yeah. As a woman, what marriage lesson am I to learn from this?

Bevere then explains that the lion protects, and the lioness provides. The lion surrounds himself only with strong, capable lionesses. The group of lionesses does all the hunting... why do they need the lion? They are perfectly strong and capable of protecting themselves with the same claws and teeth they use to bring down the kill. But instead we are supposed to learn that each lion gender is comfortable in its own role.

Lots more like this.

Bevere has good messages too: we are so busy with day-to-day routine that most of us don't do the important things like read the Bible, pray, and *serve* in a meaningful way. We mostly fail to confront important issues by deciding that they are someone else's problem (like sex slavery..that's not a problem in *my* town, right? or the murder of the unborn...that's not any of *my* business, right?).

While I *love* reading "The Message", it is not a study Bible. I wish Bevere had displayed her proof Scriptures in two versions, in columns beside each other, instead of printing The Message and telling you to go look up the verses in another version for yourself.

FTC Disclaimer: "I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review"

Review: Shattered Dreams, by Dr Larry Crabb

It took me a long time to read "Shattered Dreams" by Dr Larry Crabb.

Not because it is boring or difficult to read. But because it is worthy of being read slowly, with time for reflection. The eight-week workbook in the back of the book can aid this process. The workbook actually tries to cover about three chapters in each "week" and this is a LOT of material.

"Shattered Dreams" deals with the purpose of heartache and suffering. Dr. Crabb uses the story of Naomi (the book of Ruth) to illustrate his points. I thought it seemed a little forced or artificial at times, but still vaguely plausible. I think he actually made his points quite well without the need to attach everything to Naomi.

Crabb's main point is that pain and suffering are used by God to show us how to truly encounter Him rather than try to escape pain with lesser blessings like wealth and prosperity. He shows that people who have a good life with few difficulties rarely search for God... why would they?

Crabb also shows how the church in America is straying into a type of religion that can not help people encounter God.

"In our day of feel-good Christianity, we have come up with a wrong view of our spiritual journey. We think of suffering as something abnormal, as evidence that we lack faith. We work so hard to escape suffering that we fail to realize what good things might be happening in us as we suffer. But that's wrong. That's more Buddhist than Christian."

"For Buddha, the answer to suffering is to deaden desire, to extinguish passion and to achieve the complete isolation of union with nothingness. ... For Jesus, the answer to suffering is to suffer instensely,... to walk through that pain through prayer, the Word, spiritual disciplines, and community - toward the center of your soul where above all else you desire God."

I have reacted this way myself... when hurt by people, I react by isolating myself and spending a lot of energy deadening the desire for friends. I say to myself, "If I don't want friends so badly, I can't be disappointed by them."

"The good news of the gospel is not that God will provide a way to make life easier. The good news of the gospel, for this life, is that He will make our lives better. We will be empowered to draw clsoe to God and to love others well and to do both for one central purpose, to glorify God, to make Him look good to any who watch us live."

Why do we feel so alone when we are hurting?

"When God seems most absent from us, He is doing His most important work in us."

"It isn't always good to be blessed with the good things of life. Bad times provide an opportunity to know God that blessings can never provide."

"The journey to God will always, at some point, take us through darkness where life makes no sense. Life isn't easy; it's hard, sometimes very hard."

"The felt absence of God is a gift to gratefully receive. During those seasons of darkness He is doing His deepest work in us."

"Feeling good is not the goal. When we feel bad, we have the opportunity to do
battle against the enemy within that keeps us from entering the Presence of God
with no greater passion than to glorify Him."

How does pain help us?

"The pain created by trouble carries us into the depths of our being where everything revolves around us, where there's no love for anyone else, where we feel only pity for ourselves and sullen disappointment in others. It's a place where we actually believe God has failed us, that He has given us a raw deal. We think we have an airtight case against Him that requrires true justice to be our advocate. The pain of shattered dreams helps us admit what we really think, that our demand for a better friend than Jesus (or for Him to be a better friend) is legitimate."

"... Our deepest desire is for a kind of life only mercy makes possible, a life only grace provides. It is for life from God, life with God, life for God. And we have it. We've had it since the day we trusted Christ to forgive our sins. But it took shattered dreams to put us more deeply in touch with what we already have. The pain carried us into depths of our heart that are still ugly, but the Spirit took us deeper, into the very core of our being, where Christ lives, where we are alive."

"We will encounter Christ as our best friend when shattered dreams help us become aware of...
...the strength of our desire to know Him.
...how unworthy we are to receive even the smallest expression of kindness from Him.
...the intensity of His longing to draw us into satisfying, soul-thrilling intimacy with Him and His Father (which, in His mind, is the greatest blessing He can give and worth whatever it takes for Him to give it and for us to receive it).
...the unparalleled value of intimacy with Him."

Today's church has turned away from the fact that God is Holy. Holy cannot stand sin. Holy has only perfection as its measure, and we can never ever achieve perfect.

"Who is God?
He is... the Holy God of Passionate Wrath.

But we've weakened this view of Him by introducing grace too soon.

God has now become..

a Fatherly God of Strict Standards.

But we've dismissed His standards in our misguided campaign against legalism.

So we've reduced God further to...

a Helpful God of Useful Principles.

And now we spend our religious energy seeking to know the principles a helpful God provides for handling our lives, principels that will make our lives better.
The result is that we never encounter God."

"Who are we?
We are... Arrogant people who deserve eternal mistery, whose awareness of that arrogance is weakened by our talking too soon and too much about our longings, until we become merely...
Scoldably selfish people who really ought to do better, a view of ourselves we then dismiss as insensitve to our deep hurt, so we come to see ourselves as...
understandable strugglers who deserve to be understood and helped."

"Shattered Dreams" is well worth reading by anyone who is in pain. There are no bandaids or bumperstickers here. Not even therapy to help you help yourself feel better. Instead, you'll find that your pain can be productive and that you should not simply try to escape the pain... work with the pain instead, and see how God wants to use the pain to do something good inside of you.

This book was provided for review by Multnomah.

2010 Reading List

This is what I read in 2010. My goal was to read 100 books.

1. Guidebook for the Scientific Traveler: Visiting Astronomy and Space Exploration Sites Across America (Scientific Traveler) by Duane S. Nickell
   
2. Forged in Faith: How Faith Shaped the Birth of the Nation 1607-1776, by Rod Gragg
3. The Friends We Keep: A Woman's Quest for the Soul of Friendship, by Sarah Zacharias Davis
   
4. Mr. Darcy, Vampyre, by Amanda Grange
5. The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner: An Eclipse Novella (Twilight Saga), by Stephenie Meyer
   
6. Vasculitis, by S. Louis Bridges Jr.
7. Pocket Atlas of Body CT Anatomy (Radiology Pocket Atlas Series), by W. Richard Webb
8. The Clone Wars (Star Wars), by Karen Traviss
   
9. Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children: Six Steps to Hope and Healing for Struggling Parents, by Allison Bottke
10. Touched by a Vampire: Discovering the Hidden Messages in the Twilight Saga, by Beth Felker Jones
    
11. A Wizard of Mars: The Ninth Book in the Young Wizards Series, by Diane Duane
12. Thirsty: A Novel, by Tracey Victoria Bateman
13. The Apostle: A Thriller, by Brad Thor
14. Flash Cinematic Techniques: Enhancing Animated Shorts and Interactive Storytelling
    by Chris Jackson
15. Blogging to Drive Business: Create and Maintain Valuable Customer Connections, by Eric Butow
    
16. Father Fiction: Chapters for a Fatherless Generation, by Donald Miller
17. Paradise General: Riding the Surge at a Combat Hospital in Iraq, by Dave Hnida
18. How to Have Your Second Child First: 100 Things That Are Good to Know... the First Time Around, by Kerry Colburn
19. Fodor's Florida 2010 (Full-Color Gold Guides), by Fodor's
    
20. How to Reach Your Full Potential for God: Never Settle for Less Than His Best, by Charles F. Stanley
21. Cyber War: The Next Threat to National Security and What to Do About It, by Richard A. Clarke
22. Delivering Happiness: A Path to Profits, Passion, and Purpose, by Tony Hsieh
23. Confessions of a Compact Camera Shooter: Get Professional Quality Photos with Your Compact Camera, by Rick Sammon
24. Social Networking for Business: Choosing the Right Tools and Resources to Fit Your Needs
    by Rawn Shah
25. Casual Game Design: Designing Play for the Gamer in ALL of Us, by Gregory Trefry
26. Stargate Atlantis: Nightfall: SGA-10, by James Swallow
27. Anathem, by Neal Stephenson
28. Stargate Atlantis: Angelus: SGA-11, by Peter Evans
29. Stargate Atlantis: Mirror, Mirror, by Sabine C. Bauer
30. The Numbers Behind NUMB3RS: Solving Crime with Mathematics, by Keith Devlin
31. Stargate Atlantis: Blood Ties: SGA-8, by Sonny Whitelaw
32. The Total Money Makeover: A Proven Plan for Financial Fitness, by Dave Ramsey
33. Reading Your Male: An Invitation to Understand and Influence Your Man's Sexuality, by Mary Farrar
34. Stargate Atlantis: Casualties of War: SGA-7, by Elizabeth Christensen
35. The Waters Run Deep: A family story of triumph over adversity, by J. Wesley Gunther
36. Guys Are Waffles, Girls Are Spaghetti, by Chad Eastham
37. The First Commandment, by Brad Thor
38. Android Karenina, by Ben H. Winters
39. Blowback, by Brad Thor
40. Laced, by Carol Higgins Clark
41. Though None Go With Me, by Jerry B. Jenkins
42. The Sleeping Doll, by Jeffrey Deaver
43. Takedown, by Brad Thor
44. The Night Watchman (Ray Quinn series, book 1) by Mark Mynheir
45. Insights on John, by Chuck Swindoll
46. The Emperor's Tomb, by Steve Berry
47. Seeds of Turmoil, by Bryant Wright
48. The Lions of Lucerne, by Brad Thor
49. Path of the Assassin, by Brad Thor
50. The Hunger Games, by Suzanne Collins
51. Iced, by Carol Higgins Clark
52. Star Wars: Heir to the Empire, by Timothy Zahn
53. Star Wars: Dark Force Rising, by Timothy Zahn
54. Star Wars: The Last Command, by Timothy Zahn
55. SharePoint 2007 User's Guide, by Bates and Smith
56. Dead Heat, by Joel Rosenberg
57. 100 Prayers God loves to hear, by Stephen Elkins
58. Love and Respect for a Lifetime, by Dr Emerson Eggerichs
59. CISSP Study Guide, by Eric Conrad, Seth Misenar, and Joshua Feldman
60. The Help Desk Audit, by Julie Mohr
61. God Came Near, by Max Lucado
62. One Hand, Two Hands, by Max Lucado
63. Read and Share: The Ultimate DVD Bible Storybook - Volume 1, by Gwen Ellis
64. Twilight, by Stephanie Meyer
65. New Moon, by Stephanie Meyer
66. Eclipse, by Stephanie Meyer
67. Breaking Dawn, by Stephanie Meyer
68. Last Light, by Terri Blackstock (on kindle)
    
69. Wet Desert, by Gary Hansen (on kindle)
70. Code Blue, by Richard Mabry (on kindle)
71. Fireflies in December, by Jennifer Valent (on kindle)
72. Sense and Sensibility, by Jane Austen (on my iphone kindle software)
    
73. Walking Into Murder, by Joan Lambert (on kindle)
    

Review: "Love and Respect for a Lifetime" by Eggerichs

My latest Amazon Vine review book is "Love and Respect for a lifetime" by Dr Emerson Eggerichs. Here's the review I wrote:

"Love and Respect for a lifetime" is a typical gift book with quotes and verses about marriage and love, along with some nice anecdotes about love and respect. The content is not very deep and the entire 152 page book can be read in under 30 minutes because most pages have only a few words on them. The content is derived from a focus on Ephesians 5:33 where "The apostle Paul tells husbands to love their wives as much as they love themselves, and wives are to respect their husbands." The first point is that men and women are different (he is blue and she is pink) but as they work together, they blend to form purple (which is referenced as a reflection of God's royalty). To illustrate this, the author mentions that women are relationship-oriented and seek involvement but men are achievement-oriented and seek independence. So the man and woman need to learn to understand the blue or pink language the spouse is speaking. The book then tries to explain how he can show love and how she can show respect. The next big point is standard advice about communication (you are responsible for your own feelings and your words; try to see things from the other person's perspective; ask for clarification before reacting; listen more than you speak; apologize; etc). The book closes with tips on communication (honesty, encouragement, forgiveness, thankfulness, and Scripture) and a reminder that marriage and all of life are about obeying Jesus and becoming more like Him.

And here are the "practical examples" of what it means for a man to show love to his wife, and for a wife to show respect to her husband.

A woman wants to feel loved:

Wants to feel love by receiving flowers

Wants to feel close by holding hands and hugging.

Wants to feel close by spending time alone together

Wants to feel close by him suggesting an unexpected romantic moment like a meal on the beach

Wants him to be understanding by just listening, not trying to solve

Wants to feel understood by him identifying her feelings

Wants to feel understood by not being interrupted while she talks about how she feels

Loyalty spells love to a wife

Feel his loyalty by him speaking highly of her in from of children and others

Feel his loyalty by him not looking lustfully at other women

Feel his loyalty by him calling to tell her his plans

Feel his loyalty by him keeping his commitments

Feel honored when he encourages or praises her

Feels honored when he is affectionate in public

Feels honored when he chooses family outings over “guy things”

Feels honored when he tells her he’s proud of her and all she does

A man wants to feel respected:

Wants to show love by fixing the sink.

Wants to be approached respectfully when she confronts an issue that upsets her

Wants to feel respected by wife never criticizing his work in any way

Wants to feel respected by her praising his commitment to provide for her

Wants to feel respected by her empathy when he reveals his male mindset about position, status, or rank at work

Wants to feel respect by never putting down how much money he makes

Wants to feel close by doing activities together, shoulder to shoulder (common experiences, mutual interests)

Wants to be appreciated for his insight by thanking him for advice w/o acting insulted

Wants to be appreciated for his insight by being allowed to “fix things” and being applauded for his solutions

Wants to feel appreciation for his insight by being thanked for his perception and godly counsel

Wants to feel his friendship is valued by telling and showing him you like him (not just love him)

Wants to feel his friendship is valued by doing recreational activities together

Wants to feel his friendship is valued by talking while doing things shoulder to shoulder

This type of stuff always leaves me really confused. I just don't see how a man could love me if he didn't respect me. I value respect first, and then love. Because you just can't love me if you don't respect me. So...to me, if a man is supposed to love his wife as he loves himself, then he needs to show her respect in the way he wants to be respected and that will be interpreted by her as love. Man can't have closeness with wife without respecting her. Man can't have loyalty to wife without respecting her. And man can't honor wife without respecting her. So I just don't get the point of the book. These books make me feel like I'm supposed to focus on the gooeyness of "love" while the man focuses on being respected. I just don't get it.

Review: The Vanishing Sculptor

In June 2009 I read "The Vanishing Sculptor" by Donita K. Paul. Here's my review.

Pros: The Vanishing Sculptor is a book with a mild fantasy adventure to it. There is a quest involving kidnapping and swordplay, dragons and wizards, speaking animals, and magic.

Cons: Maybe it would help if I had read the DragonKeeper Chronicles series first, but the story world seems relatively straightforward. Supposedly there is some allegory, but it is so highly veiled that you dont get more out of it than some faintly biblical-sounding proverbs. Maybe there is another book coming that will deepen the allegory? This story is definitely not finished in this volume.

The story starts VERY slowly, drags itself painfully across country, and then ends abruptly in the middle of a scene after a brief and bloody wizard battle. Very strange. The characters are not that endearing nor that interesting. The female characters are even worse: the mother (Lady Peg) of the main character is insane and/or senile and the main heroine (Tipper) is constantly described as "hysterical". Tipper is portrayed as useless, silly, and a worrywart. She fawns over the handsome Prince who can pull an invisible sword out of his jacket and quickly kill people without remorse. There are several different races of people in the book, but none are described very distinctly.

The author uses many invented words, which seem to have at least five syllables...this book would be very difficult to read out loud. The author also uses many SAT vocabulary words ... this is great for readers that want to build a thesaurus-like vocabulary, but young readers are more likely to find this tedious since they will be looking up a great many words in the dictionary. I found it very hard to get engaged in this story and had to force myself to read it all the way through.

Review: The Male Factor

In December 2009 I read "The Male Factor: The Unwritten Rules, Misperceptions, and Secret Beliefs of Men in the Workplace" by Shaunti Feldhahn.

"The Male Factor" is based on a statistically solid survey of 600 men, plus dozens of interviews, and details how men think at work. The point of this book is for women to understand how men think at work (not at home or in relationship, but when they are in their `work' box) so that women can decide how/if they want to make adjustments in the way they act/talk/dress so that men will perceive them more accurately. The author says, "We can be skilled, talented, highly educated, mentored and networked - and yet trade all of that away by unintentionally undermining ourselves in our interactions with male colleagues." Yes, the business world still has its own set of rules, that were invented by men, and so you must decide how you will play in that world...will you understand and adapt to the rules, or not? Not to worry, the corresponding book to train men is under development.

"The Male Factor", the expanded edition for Christians, has a little bit of biblical reference scattered here and there, but you might miss it in general. The main difference between a secular version and this version is an additional chapter that provides the perspective and advice of Christian women in leadership positions in business or ministry.

Why should you read a book like this? Because you need to understand all the factors at play in your career. "Generally, especially as you rise through the ranks, no one is incompetent - so it falls to other factors. It's not just talent, because everyone has that." So what are these other factors other than talent? That's what you'll learn in this book. The author makes another analogy ... if you were engaged in international business, you would want to learn about that other culture so that you didn't sabotage your work... men are simply a different culture that you must learn about so that you can decide how/if to change anything in your control.

Men typically compartmentalize, so they have a Personal World and a Work World. Each of these has different rules and expectations. The way you interact with your husband in Personal World is NOT the way you may interact with a man in Work World. So chapter 3 explains the differences in these worlds; and chapter 4 explains the basic rules of the Work World. Then chapters deal with particular topics like emotion in the workplace, fear and insecurity, and how women's clothing can completely derail a guy. Do we need to wear a burqa? No, but men perceive figure-fitting or revealing attire to be intentionally eye-catching and inappropriate, not simply stylish, and they think a woman is less competent ...that she's intentionally distracting them from seeing her job performance flaws.

The Male Factor is pretty easy to read, and probably pretty valuable to any woman who wonders why her career doesn't seem to go anywhere. The information can also be pretty aggravating, but until the world is perfect we all have to learn to get along.

Review: Thirsty

Back in May, I read "Thirsty" by Tracey Bateman. Here's the review I posted on Amazon:

Yes, this book happens to have vampires in it as major characters. But the book isn't really about them; they are a sideline. Yes, this book happens to be "Christian fiction" but Christ also is a sideline. This book is an interesting look at one woman's search for redemption from alcoholism. But she muddles through with will-power and the Serenity Prayer, but an actual relationship with God. A fine entertainment for a few hours of reading.

Review: The Friends We Keep

Back in July I read "The Friends We Keep: A Woman's Quest for the Soul of Friendship" by Sarah Zacharias Davis. This is the review I posted on Amazon for this book:

While Davis journals her quest to understand friendship among women, she asks a million questions. In the introduction, she says she will explore questions like: How do we love? How do we hurt and bring pain to others? How do we bear another's burdens? What texture do friendships bring to our lives? What about the friend who got away? What do we demand of our friendships? What do friendships require of us? Sounds great, but the book does not deliver on any answers to these questions. Davis analyzes movies, books, TV shows, stories shared by her friends, and a whopping two examples from the Bible. One analysis that stood out to me is how many pages she spends examining the friends in "Sex and the City". These women are hardly positive role models for anything. The back of the book promises that Davis will deliver wisdom for navigating the challenges of friendship like what it means to be safe in a relationship and how to embrace what a friend has to offer. But that kind of practical information is simply absent in the text. I was very disappointed in this book.

Review: Swindoll's "Insights on John"

I absolutely loved Swindoll's "Insights on John". This book should be read by every Christian and kept in every church library. Swindoll starts by explaining the context of the book of John, using maps, timelines, and a table that explains the major themes. The book then proceeds in sections: prologue, presentation of the Word, authentication of the Word, confirmation of the Word, and vindication of the Word. Swindoll explains key terms, explains a small number of verses in each chunk, and closes each chunk with an application section. The text is sprinkled with maps, photos, special blurbs that explain a key theme or point of historical context. Throughout, Swindoll's text brings the Bible to life by explaining the context that would have been common knowledge when the book of John was wriiten but is not understood by modern people. For example, he explains why each of the court trials was illegal according to Jewish and Roman law; he explains who Pontius Pilate was; he explains crucifixtion and burial procedures; and he explains Jesus' message and intent in each of the signs he performed. I've heard lots of sermons on John over the years, but I learned a huge amount from this book. It really made an impact on me. I've often heard people tell new Christians to start reading the Bible with the book of John; but I'll be telling people to start reading with "Insights on John" so that they comprehend the enormity of what John records in his gospel.

Review: The Emperor's Tomb, by Steve Berry

"The Emperor's Tomb" is the first Steve Berry book that I've read, and I enjoyed it very much. Since the main characters are part of a series of books, there are times in the story where a previous event is mentioned and the reader doesn't really understand the reference. But I would say that this book can mostly stand on its own. I love books that teach me something along the way, and this book is packed with Chinese history and descriptions of the landscape. In the back of the book, the author gives a run-down on what aspects of the book are true and which are fiction; I found that to be a very nice touch. I found the pacing of the book to be nicely done, and most of the characters had sufficient depth to them. The story basically explores a scenario of how the next transition of power inside China could occur, and how the apparent scarcity of oil in the world impacts world politics. That sounds a bit boring when I write it that way, but I think the book is a fascinating political thriller with a bunch of history and treasure thrown in for color and context. I would recommend this book even to those who have not read any previous Steve Berry books.

Some of the things I loved learning in this book:
The Chinese were the inventors of many technologies hundreds of years before they were re-invented in the western world. For example:

• the rotary mill for separating husks and stalks from grain
• the stirrup for riding horses
• water clock
• sundial
• gun barrels
• porcelain
• astronomical etchings
• the compass
• the abacus calculator
• the decimal system
• the zero, negative numbers, fractions, the value of pi
• movable type for printing presses
• paper
• the seismograph
• the parachute
• the rudder, masts, sailing, and navigation
• China was more advanced agriculturally in the 4th century BCE than Europe was in the 18th century: they used row cultivation, hoed weeds, used the seed drill, the iron plow, and an efficient harness.
• China could drill wells to 400 meters depth by 1100 CE, while American drillers barely managed 400 meters in the 19th century.

Did you know there are 56 minorities in China?
Did you know that more than 70,000 young children are stolen each year in China? Most are boys, and they are sold to families who are desparate for a son.
Did you know that the Chinese were able to drill for oil 2,500 years ago? They harvested crude oil and natural gas and used them both in their everyday life.

And then there's this neat debate about biological (biotic) vs. non-biological (abiotic) origins of oil. If oil is only derived from degraded biomass, then China has about 2.1% of the world's reserves, the US has 2.7%, Russia has 7% and the Middle East has 65%. The US keeps about a 60 day reserve supply; Japan keeps 100 days, but China uses so much that it has only about a 10 day reserve supply at any time. China uses more than 300 million tons of crude a year, which it "buys" from Africa, Latin America, and Russia. According to this debate, oil found relatively near to the surface is biotic oil, while oil found much much deeper is abiotic. According to this theory, abiotic oil is constantly produced by the earth down near the mantle. Thus oil is not actually a scarce item. If this ever is proven true, the world and its politics will change with a great upheaval. Makes for a fascinating thriller!!

I love one line in the book in particular: "You watch too many CSI on television. Or NCIS. I love that show. Mark Harmon is the tough guy."

Blowback, by Brad Thor

"Blowback" is a pretty good way to spend a few hours reading. I especially enjoyed the part where Thor talks about how vampirism and rabies are closely related:

"Not only do vampires bite people, but so do human being affected with the rabies virus. Vampires are said to seduce women; rabies sufferers are known to be hypersexual. Vampires attack people; rabies sufferers often show a dramatic increase in aggressive behavior. Vampires roam the earth at night; rabies patients suffer sever insomnia due to interrupted sleep cycles. Vampires are erratic and suck blood; rabies patients often experience convulsions and bloody frothing at the mouth. Vampires hate garlic; rabies patients are often hypersensitive to strong odors, especially garlic. Vampires avoid mirrors as they do not cast a reflection; rabies sufferers cannot bear the sight of their own reflection and avoid any object that might cast a reflection. Vampires are afraid of sunlight; rabies patients often develop acute photosensitivity. Finally, vampires are afraid of holy water; and rabies patients often develop hydrophobia."

So Edward Cullen has rabies. You'd think it would be the wolves, but then again, maybe they do too.

The First Commandment, by Brad Thor

Brad Thor writes action thrillers featuring hero Scot Harvath, former SEAL and Secret Service Agent. In this novel, a terrorist is targeting people that Harvath cares about. It was a fun read, if you can handle the detailed scenes where Harvath tortures bad guys for information.

But there were two passages that struck me. First,

"Being happy boils down to three things. Something to do. Someone to love. And something to look forward to."

Second, a surprisingly strongly-worded rant.

"Harvath supposed there were parallels between Christ and Atlas. Judeo-Christian values were one of the few things holding up the modern civilized world against the barbaric hordes of Muslim extremists. Harvarth had to laugh at himself. The term Muslim extremist was starting to wear on him. It was PC-speak, something he loathed in others and absolutely despised in himself. The term was meant to draw a distinction between good Muslims and bad, but as far as he was concerned every single day that good Muslims did absolutely nothing about the atrocities being committed in their name, the line between good Muslim and bad Muslim became even more blurred.

All that was necessary for evil to triumph was for good people to do nothing. Harvath saw it every day, and he was determined that his nation would not be overrun by Islam. The French were already a lost cause and many other nations were following suit by allowing Islamic courts of law, banning historically significant symbols, icons, and pastimes as innocent as coed swimming to appease their rapidly growing and ever more vociferous Muslim minorities. Multiculturalism was bullshit. It was political correctness run amok and it made him sick. If these people wanted things to be exactly as they were in their countries of origin, why didn't they just remain there?

Many of Harvath's opinions may have sounded xenophobic, but he'd earned the right to them. He'd been on the front lines of the war on terror and had seen what the extremists were capable of. Radical Islam was as much about carefully and deliberately applied creativity and ideas as it was about bombs and bullets.

In America, expertly organized cells of so called 'moderate Muslims' were waging an ideological jihad, working to undermine everything that the country stood for. They were a patient and determined enemy bent upon turning the nation into the United States of Islam, and many people responsible for protecting America were not paying attention.

Between the tidal wave of illegal immigration and radical Islamic agenda in America, there were times when Harvath felt like weeping for his nation."

Wow.

Running a bit behind

Well, my goal for this year is to read 100 books. I've posted 25 book reviews on Amazon so far this year, and it is the end of May... so I'm running a bit behind schedule. Note to self: be ill more frequently and spend the day in bed reading.

Circular references

The other day I posted my book review of "Delivering Happiness" by Tony Hsieh. Well, it was the first review of the book on Amazon (and still is the only one, so far.... which is weird), so the website related to the book posted my review on their blog.... http://www.deliveringhappinessbook.com/our-first-amazon-review/

So it's neat to see my name and Amazon profile linked to by another blog.

But I'm so confused as to why people are voting my review as "not helpful". As of today, I have 2 "helpful" votes and 3 "not helpful" votes. Wazupwitdat?