(I didnt write these...Dad forwarded them to me, and I thought they were worthy of preserving on my blog ;)
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE - "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION - "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL - "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to smack you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC - "Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC - "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT - "Make sure you wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY - "If you don't stop that crying I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS - "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM - "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA - "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER - "This room of yours looks like a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY - "If I've told you once, I've told you a million times, don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE - "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out of it."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION - "Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY - "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION - "Just wait till I get you home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING - "You're going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE - "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they're going to freeze that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP - "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you're cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOUR - "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT - "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS - "You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS - "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM - "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE - "One day you'll have kids of your own, and I hope they turn out just like you!"
Monday, January 09, 2006
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment